Friday, November 19, 2010

.. Immerse Stress ..

Was in the library at 10am this morning, was doing revision all the way till about 4pm where I cannot take it anymore.  Need a break.  Need to pray.  Need to come before God to have a good release.

Am really concerned for the paper on Monday.  It is not a difficult course.  Management Control Systems.  After going through all the seminars, I can relate to what I had seen in Citibank, and come to understand why certain processes and practices are put in place.  It shouldn't be hard at all.

The lecturer told us that the exam is not a matter of memory, but understanding the concepts and applying them. And not any direction is given at all to the areas we should focus on.  Everything is examinable.  EVERYTHING.

I really hate lecturers like that.  We are in Uni.  Everything is so broad.  There is so much covered in a semester of work.  And he expects us to study EVERYTHING?

It is really such a irony.  When I failed my first assignment, all my fears were driven at failing Global Issues for Accounting.  I took the exam on Wed, the paper was ok.  Thank God the lecturer really gave us some very good directions to focus on.  So we can eliminate and concentrate on what we should revise.  I met a friend in the library just now.  Asked her about the figures for the foreign currency translation question and the journal entries.  Was so relieved to hear that we got the same figures!  Means that I should have got it right!  18 marks guaranteed.  I think I should be able to pass the Global Issues course.  Thank God for His grace indeed.

Except for the 1st seminar which I missed because I came back to Adelaide 1 week after school had started, I had attended all 12 seminars for this Mgmt Control Systems course.  And I have scored a credit average for both the assignments combined.  So I really cannot accept it if I fail this course because I fail the exam.  I looked at the 2007 exam sample that was provided.  I cannot seem to answer any of the questions at all. And no answer was provided for us as a reference guide.

I emailed both the lecturers in some sort of desperation for some advice & guidance.  And you know what?  Both are away from the office and will only be back on 22 Nov.  The day where I will have the paper.  Maybe I am expecting too much.  But I think, the lecturers shouldn't be away just before our exams?  Shouldn't they be around to help us?  I can accept it if one lecturer is away.  BOTH are away.  Who can I find now?

So at 4pm, I can't take it anymore.  I need to release my stress to God.  I came back.  Took my guitar.  Worshiped for a while.  Prayed.  Tears streamed down.

It is not that I cannot accept failure.  If I fail, surely I can do it again.  I can go back to Singapore & take this course externally.  At the most I come back to Adelaide again next year for graduation.

But tickets have been bought.  My family is coming over.  The thought of them coming and I can't graduate. I don't want to let them down.

Every semester I seem to go through the same cycle.  First semester it was Macroeconomics.  Then it was E-Business.  Just last semester it was Strategic Mgmt.  And now, this. Why can't I just have and enjoy a peaceful semester for once?

All thanks to His grace, I cleared all 3 courses.  Strategic Mgmt was indeed a miracle.  I pray, indeed if He has done it before, He can do it again.

But indeed God is good.  Was comforted and encouraged by Him just now when I prayed.  He brought to my remembrance of the 3 courses and I was really encouraged.  Indeed be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let my requests be made known to Him.  And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus.

I am so much more at peace now.

2 more days.  Was contemplating should I work tomorrow, but I think a break from the books is good for me.

As the saying goes, do my best and let Him do the rest.  I just got to do that right now.

Praying for a miracle again.  Lord, please help me.

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