.. a grieved heart ...

my heart is grieved... burdened... perhaps it's a time where the Lord is drawing me once again to Him, where my heart can engaged His heart once again. know the Father's heart, His burden..

can Father be grieved? why not? when His children neglected Him, living their own ways of life, not really thinking much of His Kingdom.

will the time really come when the children will indeed not just seek after the blessings, but the Blessor?

what is accountability? it's weird why some people cannot account their lives to a spiritual leader. i feel the problem today is not on the definition of accountability. the problem today is on the definition of a CGL?

who do you think a CGL is? has the faith of the people in God's leaders wavered as time passes? that they simply chose not to account, but to live their own way of life? that they think their own wisdom surpasses the wisdom of their leader? then, why do you still want to be placed under their leadership?

my heart is grieved... burdened... had a short conversation with Pastor CK yesterday after Svc, his heart was so grieved. we are spirit-beings. as we communicate spirit to spirit, i somehow caught his grief, his burden. i just felt my spirit awakened inside of me. Come on Elaine! Arise! Be a support to the Pastor that God has placed you under! Be a fighter for the Kingdom in this zone! My heart wept.. I make a decision that I will change.

why is it that people always choose to be so self-centered, where they always think about, "I, Me, Myself?" What I want to do, what I want to be? This is what I want to do, this is what I want to be? This is the way I want to choose to live my life?

where are the days where the people of God will be so Christ-centered, where they will think about, God, what can I do for you? God, who can I reach out to? God, I want to spend time with you? God how can I shine for you in the marketplace? what can I do? Jesus I want to carry Your burden.. Jesus, how can I grow in You even more? Jesus, how can I grow Your kingdom?.... Jesus, how can I serve You more?....

are the days gone where fervency & passion for God's kingdom are over-shadowed by the cares of the world, the lust of the eyes & the pride of life?

God, let my people come to a place where I do not have to worry about them. They can release me to do more for You. They will grow in You, desiring to do more for You. They will think about You. Think about Your people. They will be fighters together with me as labourers for Your Kingdom. They will put Your Kingdom first. Oh God, I cry out to You!

my leave is over... back to work tomorrow! am excited, looking forward to it. though it's going to be battlefield again, yet i know God will reward the hard-working. I will continue to work hard, shine for God. :)

I will arise, & lay down my life as a sacrifice. Jesus, You deserve all.